


I'm (Not) Lovin' It

by nastylittleman



Series: Toko/Syomaru Fics, cause let's face it, they're Gay As Hell [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode
Genre: Angst (minor), F/F, Fluff, Multi, Oneshot, but god do i wish it was, catch me having to reread what happens in the previous fic because i forgot what happens, f/f - Freeform, i have no idea how mcdonalds works outside of australia so i just ran with whatever, i promise this isnt a mcdonalds ad, komaru needs a break, syo has anger issues, syo proceeds to make kids cry, the gays get banned from mcdonalds, toko and syo hate ronald mcdonalds stupid face, yall want fries with your angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 22:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20590088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nastylittleman/pseuds/nastylittleman
Summary: Following Komaru's failed attempt at making them breakfast, she and Toko go to their local McDonald's, where hijinks ensue.The follow-up to 'Breakfast At Komaru's".





	I'm (Not) Lovin' It

After what Toko had lovingly called “The Tragedy” that was Komaru’s attempt at making the two breakfast that morning, the two had decided it would be best if they ate out. The Writer had never really been the biggest fan of fast food, but if it meant avoiding eating any more of her darling girlfriend’s food, she would much rather eat literally anything else, no matter how deep-fried it was.  
  
Since Komaru couldn’t drive, it was up to the older of the two to drive them to the nearest fast food chain which, to Komaru’s delight, was a McDonald’s that had recently been built. Toko grimaced as the large, yellow arches came into view. However, Komaru was ecstatic. The two rarely ate out, so this was definitely a treat. Well, it depended on who you asked.   
  
“Man, I should burn the toast more often!” Komaru exclaimed. Toko pulled a face.   
  
“Y-You’re not saying you think that was the _ only _ thing wrong, are you?!”   
  
Komaru pouted. “Hey, the tea was just fine, thank you!” she replied, folding her arms.

_ “It wasn’t even tea!” _   
  
Toko rolled her eyes as she pulled into a parking bay, soon parking the car and turning the engine off. The two climbed out of the car, Toko making sure that it was locked, before heading inside. She made sure it was locked again, and again once more, spamming the small button on her keys, Komaru soon stopping her. “Hey,” she said. “The car will be fine.” Toko frowned. They had been out on a trip to the mall several months ago, and when they had returned to the car, they had caught someone attempting to break in. Thankfully, though surprisingly, Komaru had been able to scare them off. Ever since then, the Writer had nearly obsessively checked to make sure their car was locked.   


‘If it’ll make you feel better, we can sit somewhere where we can see it, yeah?” Komaru suggested. The smaller woman hesitated, then nodded silently. Komaru leaned over and gave her girlfriend a quick kiss on the cheek, before leading her over to the self-serve screens. Toko, having never really been used to touch-screen technology, looked at it, slightly overwhelmed. They had been here for less than two minutes, and she was already wanting to leave, though the thought of Komaru’s home-made ‘breakfast’ was enough to help her power through this horrifying ordeal.  
  
Toko watched as her girlfriend scrolled through the different categories with a speed that could only belong to an olympian. She smirked to herself. It it _ was _ a sport, she was sure that Komaru would take first place. Not even a minute later, and the younger woman was looking at her, beaming.   
  
“I’m done! What do you want?” Toko blinked, looking at the screen.   
  
“Wh-What did you get?” she asked. Komaru brought up her order, causing the smaller woman to frown.   
  
“... Are you sure you want a burger and fries for breakfast?” she asked. “Isn’t that odd?” Though of course she knew better than to question Komaru’s choices. She was a child at heart, something that, much to her horror, Toko found endearing.   
  
“Of course!” Komaru replied, once again pouting. “What’s wrong with that?!”   
  
“... N-Nothing.”   
  
Toko again looked at the screen, taking her time, before selecting the ‘Breakfast’ tab. The screen quickly lit up with the various options, most of which looked rather unappetising to her. As she continued to scroll through the breakfast menu, with her much more tech-savvy girlfriend’s help, of course, she found another thing which she found frustrating; the restaurant's constant use of ‘Mc’ at the beginning of each food. She raised an eyebrow.   
  
“Why do they call it a ‘McMuffin’?” she asked, frowning. “What’s wrong with calling it just a regular muffin?” Komaru opened her mouth to reply, before being immediately cut off. 

“And what the hell is a ‘McCafe?!’ Just say ‘cafe’!” Toko continued on her tangent, her voice becoming slightly raised at this disgusting misuse of the english language. “You know what? I-I’m about to ‘McFucking’ lose my shit! And not to mention-”  
  
“Babe!” Komaru finally interjected, putting a small hand over her girlfriend’s mouth. “Babe. Calm down, please? We don’t wanna get banned from another restaurant.” She sighed. “Just, get the bacon and egg muffin, yeah? You can pick the bacon out.” Komaru cautiously lifted her hand away from Toko’s mouth, the older woman letting out a sigh of her own.   
  
“... Can I get the meal? W-With a black coffee?” Komaru smiled, pressing the appropriate selections on the screen.   
  
“Of course.”   
  
**\--**   
  
Once their meals were paid for (thanks to the money earned from Toko’s recent bestseller), the two sat down at an outdoor table upon the Writers request, as the smell of all the fried food in the restaurant was making her nauseous. Though, upon hearing the shrieks of the small children who were playing around in the play-centre, she would prefer the smell of the food. One particularly loud scream caused Toko to wince. Komaru noticed this, and gently grabbed her hand across the table, giving it a light squeeze.   
  
“Hey, we can move back inside if you want?” she offered, concern in her voice, though to her surprise, Toko shook her head.   
  
“I-It’s fine,” the older of the two replied. “Besides, I have a clear view of the car.” She motioned in the direction of the carpark, causing Komaru to turn, and sure enough their car was visible, clear as day.   
  
“Hmm… Lemme know if you wanna move though, alright?” Toko nodded silently.   
  
“Thanks.” Komaru gave Toko’s hand another light squeeze, before letting go. Toko glanced over to a nearby table and saw that the elderly couple sitting there were glaring them. The Writer glared back with a matched intensity, before the couple looked away. Komaru didn’t notice this, as one of the workers in their obnoxiously bright red uniforms arrived at their table carrying two plastic trays.   
  
“Here you go, ladies!” they exclaimed happily. Too happily, Toko thought, as the minimum-wage worker placed their trays on the table in front of them, surprising Toko as they got their orders right. Toko watched as they placed Komaru’s burger, fries and soda in front of her girlfriend, and her own, much more sensible breakfast in front of her. The two women thanked the worker, before they left to attend to the rest of their duties. Toko was thankful that they had a table service option; she had always hated the brown paper bags the food normally came in.   
  
Komaru wasted no time in digging into her fries, whereas Toko took her time, carefully picking up the small mug of black coffee and giving it a gentle blow, before taking a small sip. Glancing up past her girlfriend, Toko checked the car. Safe and sound. She let out a breath of relief, before a truly horrendous sight entered her field of vision.   
  
That sight was the dreaded Ronald McDonald bench chair.   
  
She hated those things. The way the fibreglass clown mascot looked at her with those wide eyes. The way he smiled at her with that horrid grin. Even the way he sat, one leg crossed over the other with his arm outstretched, taking up most of the bench, enticing her to join him. But she would never. Not in a million years. Toko didn’t have a fear of clowns, but that thing? It scared her.   
  
She grimaced, and put her mug down.   
  
Komaru, on the other hand, had already finished her fries, much to Toko’s horror, and was already halfway through her orange soda. Toko hadn’t even _ began _ to eat.   
  
Knowing that should change, she cautiously picked up the small hashbrown in the small paper wrapper it came in, eyeing it over. It didn’t look _ too _ greasy, she thought. Toko hesitated, before taking a bite. It tasted… Better than she had expected. A little soggy, sure, but she blamed that on her slow eating. She took another bite, and then another, before the potato snack was finished. Huh. Not bad.   
  
Toko took another sip of her coffee which, despite the slightly windy weather, was still scalding hot. The coffee was burnt slightly, but it was definitely better than the ‘tea’ Komaru had made.   
  
To her surprise, Komaru hadn’t even _ started _ on her burger yet. Toko frowned.   
  
“Y-You haven’t touched your cheeseburger. Are you ill or something?” she teased, smirking behind her mug. Her girlfriend, not noticing the smirk, shook her head.   
  
“Nah, I was just enjoying watching you. You look real cute when you eat!” Komaru replied, giggling. Toko nearly spat out her coffee, feeling her face and the tips of her ears turn red.   
  
“Sh-Shut up…!” she mumbled, looking away. Komaru laughed.   
  
“You’re not denying it!” she teased, taking a sip of her own drink through the red and yellow striped straw. Toko rolled her eyes, watching in mild disgust as Komaru examined her burger. The thing looked greasy as hell! It was sure to clog her arteries. Though she supposed she had seen her beloved girlfriend eat worse.   
  
Komaru lifted the top bun, inspecting the goods inside the burger, before nodding to herself, and picking up a salt packet. Tearing the packet open, she sprinkled it inside the burger. Tossing the now empty packet aside, Komaru went to pick up a packet of ground pepper, before Toko stopped her.   
  
“K-Keep that away from me!” she exclaimed, wincing as another child shrieked from the play-centre. The absolute worst thing that could happen right now would be Syo emerging. Komaru picked up one of the small pepper packets anyway, furrowing her brow as she smiled.   
  
“Relax, it’s okay. I’m only gonna put in a little, and it’ll be far away from you, alright?” 

Toko hesitated, before nodding in agreement. “A-Alright,” she replied nervously. Komaru’s smile softened, if that was even possible considering she had the softest smile the Writer had ever seen, and gave the packet a slight tear, carefully sprinkling it over the insides of her burger. Meanwhile, Toko was examining the rest of her meal with disdain. Like the hashbrown, the bacon and egg muffin was soggy, though this time she blamed the restaurant entirely. She picked the english muffin apart, separating the egg and bacon from the rest of the soggy muffin, and slowly ate the egg. To her disappointment, the egg was rubbery. She sighed, placing the half eaten egg aside. Toko went to take another sip of her coffee, before a gust of wind blew over and into her face.   
  
Once she felt her nose begin to itch, she quickly discovered that the gust of wind had taken some of the pepper along with it.   
  
Toko immediately held her nose, feeling the incoming sneeze begin to burn her nostrils, and looked at Komaru, who was giving her girlfriend a look of shock.

“I-I’m so sorry!” she began, panicking. “I didn’t think the wind would pick up, a-and-”  
  
“ACHOO!”

  
Komaru winced as she watched Syo stick out her tongue, looking around with a confused look on her face. Though it didn’t seem to take too long for the alter to realise where she was. Komaru gave her a few moments to adjust, before smiling.   
  
“... Hey, Syo!” she said. “How are y-”   
  
“Did Gloomy put sugar in this?” Syo asked, unintentionally cutting off the younger woman. She pointed to the small mug that was still mostly full of coffee. Komaru shrugged.   
  
“I… Don’t think so?”   
  
Syo scowled, before grabbing five packets of sugar from the table and tearing them open all at once with her teeth. Grinning, she dumped the sugar in the coffee, and didn’t even bother to mix it in as she picked the mug up and started to chug. Komaru watched with both concern and admiration. If there was one person who liked coffee more than Toko, it _ had _ to be Syo. 

Syo finished the hot beverage in record time, slamming the mug back down onto the plastic tray with a loud ‘bang’, causing Komaru to jump, and several other patrons to turn and stare. The Fiend just laughed.   
  
“Fuck, that drink was hot!” she exclaimed, still laughing. “Soooo Dekomaru, how’d ‘ya convince Miss Gloomy to come here? Was it bribery? Oooh, _ please _ tell me it was bribery!” Syo leaned forward, a devilish grin on her face. “What’d ‘ya bribe her with, eh? C’mon love, spill it! Anything I can help with?” she finished with a wink, her tongue rolling around excitedly.   
  
“Wh-What? No! Nothing like that!” Komaru replied, blushing. “Keep your voice down!” Syo shrugged and leaned back, admiring the blush she was able to cause.   
  
“I tried making Toko breakfast this morning,” she continued. “And… It didn’t go well.”   
  
“Oh?”   
  
“Yeah, heh.” Komaru sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck, watching as two children chased each other around. Syo tried her best to ignore them, clearly annoyed by the noise they were making.   
  
“I tried to make a breakfast quiche from a recipe I found online, but… It was a disaster.” The younger woman smiled, forcing a laugh. It was clear she felt bad. “I just wanted to do something nice for her, y’know? Cause she’s been really stressed with her work lately. I feel really bad for messing it up.” Syo nodded.   
  
“Hey, don’t be so damn hard on yourself, Dekomaru.” she replied, picking up the sliver of bacon and looking at it, before sighing and tossing it back onto the wrapper. Toko’s dietary choices meant that she couldn’t eat meat either, and it bothered her. Well, _ technically _ she could, but either her or Toko would deal with the repercussions afterwards and, from experience, that was _ not _ fun. Instead, she opted to snack on one of the discarded english muffins, taking a bite. Man, it was good. She had no idea why Toko didn’t want it.   
  
“Like, cooking is hard as shit!” she continued between bites. “I can barely fuckin’ make those packet meals like the mac n’ cheese, and _ all _ ‘ya do is add water!”   
  
Syo winced as more children began to run around. She was… Reasonable when it came to kids, but _ man, _ were these kids trying her patience. How could anyone expect to sit through this?!   
  
Komaru sighed, finishing the last of her drink, before finally taking a bite out of her cheeseburger. “I guess you’re right.” she commented. “I could see Toko didn’t like it, so I suggested we come here. She must’ve _ really _ not liked it, ‘cause she actually said yes!”   
  
Syo frowned. “Yeah, but you know what she’s like!” she replied, now making it her mission to cheer up her girlfriend. “She’s fussy! She’d live on a diet of coffee, bread, and nothing else if she could!” Komaru giggled, and the alter watched in awe. She really _ did _ have the cutest giggle.   
  
“That’s true,” the taller woman replied. “But, I just-”   
  
“Lemme stop ‘ya right there.” Syo interrupted, holding up a hand. “If you’re feel _ that _ bad about what happened, try again tomorrow, but with somethin’ you’re _ familiar _ with, ‘ya know?” She began to fidget with a napkin, glaring at another noisy child with her intense, red eyes. The kid noticed, and began to cry. Syo rolled her eyes.   
  
“Like… What do you _ know _ you can cook?” she asked. Komaru thought for a moment.   
  
“Well… I’m really good at cooking beef stew, but that’s not really a ‘breakfast’ thing, is it?”   
  
Syo ripped open another sugar packet and poured the contents into her mouth as Komaru watched in horror. Even _ she _ didn’t have that much of a sweet tooth.   
  
“So?” The Fiend threw the empty packet into the mug. “Make it for dinner or somethin’. Just yeet the beef out and replace it with more potatoes or somethin’. Or rice, I dunno.” she shrugged. Komaru beamed.   
  
“That’s… Actually a great idea!” she exclaimed, clasping her hands together. “Thanks, Syo!”   
  
Syo shrugged again, returning her girlfriends smile. “Aw, don’t mention it, love. You’re cooking ain’t bad; you just gotta find your strengths, and obviously breakfast food ain’t it, but that’s okay. You’re still valid.” Komaru laughed, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.   
  
“Thank you.”   
  
Syo opened her mouth to speak again, before another scream echoed throughout the outdoor dining area. She winced again, and her face turned into one of anger.   
  
“Alright, that’s it!” she exclaimed, standing up. Komaru frowned. _ Oh no. _   
  
“Listen up, ‘ya turds!” the shorter woman yelled, pointing around the area at the adults sitting at the surrounding tables. “You guys need to control ‘ya spoiled little mistakes! This is a fuckin’ fast food restaurant, not a day-care!”   
  
Komaru grimaced. So much for not getting banned.

It didn’t take long before a worker approached the two. Komaru read their badge. ‘Manager’. She sighed.  
  
“Is there a problem here?” they asked, looking at Syo. Syo whipped her head around and looked back at them with a glare.   
  
“You in charge here?” she asked. The manager nodded. 

  
“Good, cause these _ jizz-stains _ are lettin’ their brats run around and scream like it’s the fuckin’ end of the world! We’re just tryin’ to eat our food in peace, and we can’t if these feral kids are screamin’ bloody murder every five seconds! And _ trust _ me, I _ know _ what bloody murder sounds like!” Her tongue lolled around angrily as she spoke. The children who weren’t on the playground ran to their parents, who were watching the scene unfold in shock. Komaru sank into her chair.   
  
“Ma’am, I understand your frustration, but _ please _ watch your language around the younger ones.” The manager spoke calmly, though it was clear they were growing increasingly frustrated with Syo, who scoffed.   
  
“Oh, _ please! _ I’ve heard the word ‘fuck’ eight times, ‘bitch’ ten, three ‘shit’s, and _ four _ ‘cunt’s! And half of those were from that couple with the twins right there!” She pointed to a family in the corner who, upon being called out, avoided all eye contact with the woman. The manager sighed. “Look, ma’am, if you keep this up, I’m going to have no choice but to ask you to leave-”   
  
“And how the fuck do you expect me to enjoy my meal when that… _ Fucking clown _ keeps starin’ at me?!” Syo pointed behind Komaru, who turned, only to see that she was pointing at the Ronald McDonald bench chair.   
  
“That thing’s terrifying! And I’ve seen some fucked up things in my time!”   
  
Komaru went to say something, until Syo was brandishing three pairs of her trademark scissors, which she promptly flung into the fibreglass clown’s face with terrifying accuracy. The manager watched in shock, as several children began to cry having witnessed their favourite clown’s face get torn to shreds. Syo laughed, and Komaru buried her face in her hands.   
  
“... Ma’am, you have thirty seconds to leave this establishment _ immediately _ before I call the police.”   
  
With that, Komaru quickly stood up, taking her half-eaten burger and wrapping it up again, before shoving it in her pocket.   
  
“W-We’ll leave.” she replied. “And… Pay for the bench. Right, Syo?” She shot Syo a glare, who had been quick to retrieve he scissors.   
  
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. This place fuckin’ sucks, anyway. Let’s go, Dekomaru.” The Fiend glared at the manager, before jumping over the large glass barricade and into the carpark. Komaru sighed.   
  
“I’m so sorry about that,” she said, looking up at the manager, who had their phone out ready to call the police if needed. “She’s just… _ Really _ passionate.” She chuckled nervously. The manager didn’t smile back.   
  
Komaru sighed.   
  
“We… Won’t be back to cause trouble any time soon.” she assured, before nodding, and swiftly exiting the McDonald’s.   
  
**\--**   
  
“Syo, you can’t keep losing your shit every time we go out like that!” Komaru exclaimed, holding onto the safety handle on the passengers side of the car while Syo sped down the road.   
  
“Hey, it’s not _ my _ fault those cunts don’t know how to control their kids!” she shot back. “Admit it, they were bothering you too!”   
  
Komaru couldn’t argue against that.   
  
“Yeah, but what if you get arrested? That manager was ten seconds away from calling the police! What would you have done then?”   
  
Syo was silent.   
  
The younger of the two sighed. “You just can’t let your anger get the best of you.” she continued. “It worries me. It really does.” Komaru leaned back into her seat, letting go of the safety handle as Syo slowed down.   
  
“You need to think about Toko as well. You’re not the only one in the system, you know. You two gotta look out for each other.”   
  
The car shook slightly as it pulled into the driveway. Syo sighed, and turned off the engine.   
  
“... I know.” she finally replied. “I just wanna enjoy the time I get when I’m frontingt while I can, an’ that’s hard to do when there’s kids screamin’ in your ear every five seconds.”   
  
“I understand,” Komaru replied, as the two got out of the car. “But that’s just what happens when you’re out in public. It’s loud. I hate it too.” She pulled out the house keys, and unlocked the front door, holding it open for Syo, before following behind. “But… It’s normal.”   
  
“You don’t understand,” Syo whined, flopping herself on the couch. “It always feels like someone’s shovin’ my ears with razors or somethin’, an’ when people touch me I wanna slice their throats open!” She paused. “Like… It makes that part they touched feel like it’s on fire. Everythin’ just gets so overwhelming, Dekomaru. I hate it.”   
  
Komaru pulled out the half-eaten cheeseburger out of her pocket, and tossed it on the coffee table, before sitting on the couch next to her girlfriend and resting her head on her shoulder.   
  
“... I had no idea it was that bad for you.” she lamented. “I’m sorry.”   
  
Syo shrugged, clearly upset. “It’s fine,” she replied, leaning into her girlfriend. “It just sucks. When I spend time with you when it’s just us, here,” She gestured around the living room. “It’s fine. It’s quiet, and-” Syo paused, sniffing the air.   
  
“... What’s that smell?” she asked, covering her nose.   
  
“Oh, uh… Most likely the toaster.” The alter blinked.   
  
“Jesus, Dekomaru, did ‘ya set it on fire or something?”   
  
Komaru went quiet.   
  
“... Oh my fuckin’ god.” Syo, still covering her nose, began to laugh. “For god’s sake, open a window!”   
  
Komaru shot up and quickly strode into the kitchen, where Syo’s laughter could still be heard. She opened the window once again, before returning to the lounge room, taking back her spot on the couch. Soon, the burnt smell began to clear. Syo cautiously sniffed the air again, before completely removing her hand. Komaru was pouting.   
  
Syo rolled her eyes, and kissed her girlfriend’s cheek.   
  
“Hey, at least ‘ya didn’t burn the house down.” she commented. Komaru chuckled.   
  
“True,” she replied. “But, seriously, Syo. If being in public is _ that _ hard for you, did you want me to look into something like noise-reducing headphones or something?” Syo’s ears perked up for a moment, before frowning.   
  
“But, won’t I look ridiculous?” Komaru watched as her tongue rolled around lazily as she spoke. She raised an eyebrow.   
  
“I… Don’t think that’ll be as issue, dear.”   
  
Syo breathed a sigh of relief. “... Alright then,” she exclaimed, wrapping an arm around Komaru. “That’d be good.” The taller woman smiled.   
  
“Perfect, hopefully now you won’t get us banned from any more places!” she teased. Syo scowled, and playfully nudged her, before leaning in and kissing her. Komaru sighed, leaning into the kiss, before Syo soon pulled away.   
  
“Love ‘ya, Dekomaru.” Komaru smiled, once again standing up.   
  
“I love you too. Now, if you excuse me, I need to add that McDonald’s to the list of restaurants we’re no longer able to show our faces in.”


End file.
